Hey all! H.P Echo here. My posting has been a bit unpredictable
and erratic these past few weeks- I’m trying to do a better job for you, my
readers.
So today’s topic is sexual assault awareness. It’s a topic that
people don’t like addressing, especially with their children, but needs to be
addressed now more than ever- in terms of support, awareness (because there is
no definite way to “prevent” it, unfortunately) and just overall help. I went
to a sexual violence awareness candlelight vigil last week- as I have for the
last few years- and it was very moving. Some people- women and men- volunteered
to share their stories with us all as we stood in a circle, with our lit
candles in hand and able to see everyone and anyone who spoke. There is still
candlewax caked on the ground in the part of campus where we stood. And when we
were asked to voluntarily raise our hands if we ourselves or someone we knew
had been sexually assaulted, at least 95% of people raised their hands (mind
you, there were 50+ people there that night).
Why is this so important to me? I will tell you.
I am a survivor of sexual assault.
I am just coming to terms with this, getting counseling for it,
and still have trouble saying this. I’ve told few people about this, have gone
in depth with even fewer. Not even my partner knows about this (though I am
thinking about telling them), nor do my parents, any of my family, or my
college friends (except for the few that I spoke to in private after the vigil).
Even though I thought I ended it years ago, it turns out that it followed me
through bad habits I picked up to cope with the psychological damage. I stopped
telling my family things and kept quiet a lot of the time, sometimes turning to
self-injury or unhealthy sexual relationships to cope when I felt like
screaming and could not. I am seeing a counselor now and am actively working on
healing from this, but it is a work in progress.
Before naming the monster and everything, I actually kind of
subconsciously shied away from everything sexual assault and rape related,
including my high school’s Take Back the Night rally, which consisted of marching
through the street, protesting sexual and domestic violence, and a candlelight
vigil that included people in the crowd stepping up and telling how sexual
violence has effected them and/or a loved one. My mom pretty much made me go to
one a few years back.
But now I go to these types of events of my own will. These
events are very important to me, not only because I was once a victim myself
but because I know that there are people- children included- that are in these
types of situations and feel so alone and feel that there is nothing that can
be done about their abuser. No one deserves this.
So what can we do to prevent this? Unfortunately, there is no
way to “prevent” sexual assault. People convince victims that if they had or
hadn’t done a particular thing or things leading up to the assault, but that
does not matter or factor at all. The
only one at fault in sexual assault is the perpetrator(s). But what we can
do is shine light on this issue. The more aware people are about this, the more
we can do to protect ourselves and others, and bring justice to those that
deserve it. Educate your kids. Believe
the person when they tell you something is wrong or that they are being abused
or have been abused, even if the person in question is a child. I cannot
stress this enough. I felt that I did not get the chance to tell my own
parents, and feeling like I did not have the support and that they would not
believe me, things spiraled down for me from there and the assaults continued.
But again, remember that if something does happen, unless you are the
perpetrator it is not your fault that
this happened to you or your loved one.
What can we do for survivors? Again, believe them if they tell
you they were abused. Listening to them and believing them- even if it is hard
for you- is the most important thing you can do for them (after making sure
they are safe from their abuser, of course). If they tell you their story and
doubt that it is sexual abuse, help them to find the name for it. Listen to
them. Support them. Do not doubt them. Do not bring them down in anyway (i.e. –
telling them that it could have been prevented if they had done this or had not
done that).
Whew, that was a long post. Remember though- sexual assault/violence
isn’t just limited to happening just in April, so our awareness and education
on this shouldn’t be limited to just this month either. My two cents for you.
Lighting up the world,
~H.P. Echo~
*Note: Forgive me for taking so long- writing this was not easy.
Due to the sensitive subject and personal trauma while writing this, it took me
awhile to write this post.
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