I Am Taking Back the Night! (Sexual Assault Awareness)

 

 (Picture of Sexual Assault/Violence Awareness Ribbon from dodlive.mil)

 

Hey all! H.P Echo here. My posting has been a bit unpredictable and erratic these past few weeks- I’m trying to do a better job for you, my readers.

So today’s topic is sexual assault awareness. It’s a topic that people don’t like addressing, especially with their children, but needs to be addressed now more than ever- in terms of support, awareness (because there is no definite way to “prevent” it, unfortunately) and just overall help. I went to a sexual violence awareness candlelight vigil last week- as I have for the last few years- and it was very moving. Some people- women and men- volunteered to share their stories with us all as we stood in a circle, with our lit candles in hand and able to see everyone and anyone who spoke. There is still candlewax caked on the ground in the part of campus where we stood. And when we were asked to voluntarily raise our hands if we ourselves or someone we knew had been sexually assaulted, at least 95% of people raised their hands (mind you, there were 50+ people there that night).

Why is this so important to me? I will tell you.

I am a survivor of sexual assault.

I am just coming to terms with this, getting counseling for it, and still have trouble saying this. I’ve told few people about this, have gone in depth with even fewer. Not even my partner knows about this (though I am thinking about telling them), nor do my parents, any of my family, or my college friends (except for the few that I spoke to in private after the vigil). Even though I thought I ended it years ago, it turns out that it followed me through bad habits I picked up to cope with the psychological damage. I stopped telling my family things and kept quiet a lot of the time, sometimes turning to self-injury or unhealthy sexual relationships to cope when I felt like screaming and could not. I am seeing a counselor now and am actively working on healing from this, but it is a work in progress.

Before naming the monster and everything, I actually kind of subconsciously shied away from everything sexual assault and rape related, including my high school’s Take Back the Night rally, which consisted of marching through the street, protesting sexual and domestic violence, and a candlelight vigil that included people in the crowd stepping up and telling how sexual violence has effected them and/or a loved one. My mom pretty much made me go to one a few years back.

But now I go to these types of events of my own will. These events are very important to me, not only because I was once a victim myself but because I know that there are people- children included- that are in these types of situations and feel so alone and feel that there is nothing that can be done about their abuser. No one deserves this.

So what can we do to prevent this? Unfortunately, there is no way to “prevent” sexual assault. People convince victims that if they had or hadn’t done a particular thing or things leading up to the assault, but that does not matter or factor at all. The only one at fault in sexual assault is the perpetrator(s). But what we can do is shine light on this issue. The more aware people are about this, the more we can do to protect ourselves and others, and bring justice to those that deserve it. Educate your kids. Believe the person when they tell you something is wrong or that they are being abused or have been abused, even if the person in question is a child. I cannot stress this enough. I felt that I did not get the chance to tell my own parents, and feeling like I did not have the support and that they would not believe me, things spiraled down for me from there and the assaults continued. But again, remember that if something does happen, unless you are the perpetrator it is not your fault that this happened to you or your loved one.

What can we do for survivors? Again, believe them if they tell you they were abused. Listening to them and believing them- even if it is hard for you- is the most important thing you can do for them (after making sure they are safe from their abuser, of course). If they tell you their story and doubt that it is sexual abuse, help them to find the name for it. Listen to them. Support them. Do not doubt them. Do not bring them down in anyway (i.e. – telling them that it could have been prevented if they had done this or had not done that).

Whew, that was a long post. Remember though- sexual assault/violence isn’t just limited to happening just in April, so our awareness and education on this shouldn’t be limited to just this month either. My two cents for you.

Lighting up the world,

~H.P. Echo~

*Note: Forgive me for taking so long- writing this was not easy. Due to the sensitive subject and personal trauma while writing this, it took me awhile to write this post.

I Am Reviewing "The L Word"!

 (Picture of "The L Word" logo from Wikipedia)

Hey everybody! Sorry about the long hiatus, but I’m back! (Look out- I may start posting on Tuesdays since it suits my schedule more) So, if you guys have ever heard of the show “The L Word,” then you know what this post is about. For those of you who do not, I will give you a small summary (*note for all, this post may contain some spoilers! Continue at your own risk!):

“The L Word” is a series about the different yet similar lives of lesbian friends. While some characters are fully aware of, accept, and acknowledge their sexuality, other characters struggle with this. Nevertheless, each woman encounters issues of homophobia, relationship issues, other external issues, internal struggles, and life in general. Bette and Tina have a relationship together and are trying to have a child. Dana is an athlete who is "in the clost" and is trying to "be out". Alice is bisexual, comfortable with women and men, and acknowledges it proudly to her friends. Shane is a hairstylist and is not interested in lasting relationships. Marina is the owner of a cafe and has an eye on another character. And Jenny believes at first that she is heterosexual, but after a series of events she struggles with her desires.

... I'm not that good with summaries, but bare with me.

About eleven or twelve episodes into the first season, I have to say that I like the show and that I recommend it (there are sex scenes in it and strong language, so if that is an issue… perhaps there’s a censored one for you guys? Although censorship kind of defeats the purpose of the show… but I digress). It features problems specific to each person, to LGBTQ members in general, and to humans in general. In my opinion, it makes the show much more realistic and the characters’ situations more believable and relatable.

Now, here are some things I wish they would include more of in the series:

·         More racial diversity. Don’t get me wrong- there is racial some diversity. Of the main characters, Bette is half African-American, her heterosexual sister is fully African-American, Marina is Italian… but the majority of the cast is Caucasian. Does this imply that homosexuality is more acceptable for people who are Caucasian?

·         More bisexuals, trans* folk, and those who do not particularly identify with any gender or sexuality. I know that the show is called "The L Word", and that the words above don't begin with the letter L, but the producers have already  included characters that are not strictly lesbians (and let's face it, sexuality is not black and white). The producers do a good job by including Alice, a woman who accepts she is bisexual, and with Jenny, who is struggling with her feelings between men and women and is perhaps transitioning through bisexuality, but are those the only two sides to it (no pun intended)? And what about those who do not identify as either?

·         More economic (class) diversity. Homosexuality and otherwise does not only belong to or occur in those who are doing well in the economic world (i.e. - middle class citizens).

Just some stuff that I noted while I was watching (I think I mentioned in a previous post about how my Women’s Studies course now has me looking at media more critically… yeah, that’s why). But overall, I like it. It puts the spotlight on homosexuality and homosexual individuals for a change, instead of making it something to be on the sidelines with secondary characters or not existent at all- who doesn’t love that?

So if anyone is interested in watching it without downloading, look up the user Lezgirlslike on Youtube- they have the full episodes of “The L Word” on their channel (I’m afraid to link it because the user might get banned for copyright… so shhh).

Anyway, that is all for now. Stay tuned, folks. Even if I disappear for whatever reason(s) again, I will continue to post until I run out of things to talk about… which will not be for quite a while. So feel free to drop by and leave a comment or two! Thanks for reading and Happy belated Easter, April Fool’s Day, and all that good stuff!

Nobody’s fool,

~H.P. Echo~